Not sure how I feel about this anecdote - the SO is unusually accommodating, and it may be tempting to interpret this story as inspiration not to worry about relationships when you're working on a startup. (Or any bursty, time-demanding job, really.)
I've done a couple of startups, and went back to school a few years ago. My husband is a game developer. So I think it's not unreasonable to claim some familiarity with these issues. =)
The key is communication - especially for men, who are not always inclined to talk about relationships unless something is obviously wrong. Remember, women initiate most divorces and most men have no idea it's coming! You need to touch base regularly and make sure that problems aren't building up.
Engineers, think of the Rule of Tens: It's ten times harder to fix a problem after it's become a pattern than when it's fresh, and a hundred times harder to fix if your partner is prepared to break up over it.
Also, be sure to set aside regular times to spend together, and do everything in your power to avoid being sucked back into work. Occasional lapses are okay, but you can't expect to be someone's highest priority when you put them at the bottom of your priorities.
This is what I consider a working relationship. It’s kind of like being poly, each partner has to accommodate the other’s external love (for work, as it is). I’ve seen this between pairs of artists, athletes, artist+programmers and musician+designers. It’s never people who have “just a day job” but rather those who view their trade as a superset of their life. The accommodation for the partner is really just understanding and accepting the need to create in another as a legitimate part of the relationship.
Since the writer did the same to her husband, I’m assuming this isn’t a big issue...
I've done a couple of startups, and went back to school a few years ago. My husband is a game developer. So I think it's not unreasonable to claim some familiarity with these issues. =)
The key is communication - especially for men, who are not always inclined to talk about relationships unless something is obviously wrong. Remember, women initiate most divorces and most men have no idea it's coming! You need to touch base regularly and make sure that problems aren't building up.
Engineers, think of the Rule of Tens: It's ten times harder to fix a problem after it's become a pattern than when it's fresh, and a hundred times harder to fix if your partner is prepared to break up over it.
Also, be sure to set aside regular times to spend together, and do everything in your power to avoid being sucked back into work. Occasional lapses are okay, but you can't expect to be someone's highest priority when you put them at the bottom of your priorities.