In this spirit, I really like this disclaimer from the conclusion of a preprint on the arXiv [1]:
> This paper is not intended for journal publication. Therefore, it lacks
the delusional claims typically found in published papers about its
(simultaneous) relevance to drug design, nanoelectronics, photonics,
spintronics or any other fashionable application. Also, everyone can
sleep at peace without worrying about missed citations and their h-index
(and without e-mailing me to complain about them).
> This paper is not intended for journal publication. Therefore, it lacks the delusional claims typically found in published papers about its (simultaneous) relevance to drug design, nanoelectronics, photonics, spintronics or any other fashionable application. Also, everyone can sleep at peace without worrying about missed citations and their h-index (and without e-mailing me to complain about them).
[1] https://arxiv.org/abs/1201.1232v3