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It's a huge frustration that happens whenever I try to use it, which is not often enough for me to do anything about it aside from curse their idiocy.

As for your mental model, you've adapted to the implementation details of specific package managers. This is just Stockholm lite.



It's not, it's you that persists in wanting update and upgrade to do the same.

They don't do the same, but if you want, you can completely forget about update and just use upgrade, it does an update behind the scenes. But don't try to force kill update just because YOU have no use for it.




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