I went from the service industry where I met new people literally every single night and got to work with my closest friends (and frenemies) every shift to tech, and I really miss it as much as I'd never go back.
I'ved lived in 10 major US cities, always places where I don't know anyone initially. I just go do my own thing and enjoy my hobbies, shows, sports, etc around the city and often I meet people but I'm much more limited now since I can't stay out until 3am running to 5 different places or events every night. If I see someone I know who might be interested in something I'm doing, I mention it and just tell them drop by if they want to check it out, I'll be there.
I actually meet far, far more people and typically have a much more fun time when I go out alone then when I spend hours with the same person/people in our own world. Sometimes they even become a drag on my night and I break off and go do something else.
Author appears to be a woman, though. As a former bartender, night-to-night I'd see far, far more men making friends with other new men than women befriending new women. And that definitely might put a wrench into attending a lot of the stuff I do (raves, metal shows, clubs, kink nights, etc) alone, safety speaking.
The amount of people who can't bring themselves to go do things alone is really, really strange to me, but I'm also a military brat and constantly moved/changed schools so I just dive into anxiety inducing situations as much as I can.
> In fact, she’d gotten so close to this group that she and Barbara, seventy-four, were writing a romance novel together. None of what she was describing appealed to me at all. I told her I would never do that, and she shrugged as if to say, “Maybe that’s why you don’t have any friends.”
This line stands out to me. I've had a lot of friends like this where they're not willing to do anything that I like to do that they don't or might not like. I get if you don't want to spend $250 on a concert ticket because you don't love the artist but I'm willing to go to just about any show/concert if its a reasonable price to my expectation/desire level. I've gone to a ton of free-$40 shows of artists I had never heard of before because a friend invited me. Even if I don't love the music I'm still enjoying my time with friends and that can't be a bad time. I don't enjoy scrabble but I'll go act like I enjoy it for an hour if theres beer.
I used to bartend at dive bars and there's a specific type of contrarian clientele that would always walk in, typically dragged by friends out of an Uber Black Suburban and pretty much audibly gasp "Ugh, you chose a dive bar?" and just generally act miserable to be there. Dude, it's a dive bar. Everyone can have fun at a dive bar. Pick your music and grab a beer and enjoy the time you get to spend with your friends.
I'ved lived in 10 major US cities, always places where I don't know anyone initially. I just go do my own thing and enjoy my hobbies, shows, sports, etc around the city and often I meet people but I'm much more limited now since I can't stay out until 3am running to 5 different places or events every night. If I see someone I know who might be interested in something I'm doing, I mention it and just tell them drop by if they want to check it out, I'll be there.
I actually meet far, far more people and typically have a much more fun time when I go out alone then when I spend hours with the same person/people in our own world. Sometimes they even become a drag on my night and I break off and go do something else.
Author appears to be a woman, though. As a former bartender, night-to-night I'd see far, far more men making friends with other new men than women befriending new women. And that definitely might put a wrench into attending a lot of the stuff I do (raves, metal shows, clubs, kink nights, etc) alone, safety speaking.
The amount of people who can't bring themselves to go do things alone is really, really strange to me, but I'm also a military brat and constantly moved/changed schools so I just dive into anxiety inducing situations as much as I can.
> In fact, she’d gotten so close to this group that she and Barbara, seventy-four, were writing a romance novel together. None of what she was describing appealed to me at all. I told her I would never do that, and she shrugged as if to say, “Maybe that’s why you don’t have any friends.”
This line stands out to me. I've had a lot of friends like this where they're not willing to do anything that I like to do that they don't or might not like. I get if you don't want to spend $250 on a concert ticket because you don't love the artist but I'm willing to go to just about any show/concert if its a reasonable price to my expectation/desire level. I've gone to a ton of free-$40 shows of artists I had never heard of before because a friend invited me. Even if I don't love the music I'm still enjoying my time with friends and that can't be a bad time. I don't enjoy scrabble but I'll go act like I enjoy it for an hour if theres beer.
I used to bartend at dive bars and there's a specific type of contrarian clientele that would always walk in, typically dragged by friends out of an Uber Black Suburban and pretty much audibly gasp "Ugh, you chose a dive bar?" and just generally act miserable to be there. Dude, it's a dive bar. Everyone can have fun at a dive bar. Pick your music and grab a beer and enjoy the time you get to spend with your friends.