We're getting ready to deploy Varnish in (non-devops) work. Not having control over production and having the potential for C inline in the config was already making me a bit nervous. This thread is not helping!
Varnish has actually been a great tool for us. The 3rd party url-sort plugin that we tried was not. Had a memory leak that caused the server to crash periodically. Once the url-sort module that we're building as part of this code challenge is tested and fully formed we'll make it available as open source.