The easiest way to cancel services with shit companies like this is by mail. Spend a few minutes typing a letter, pay the small extra fee for proof of delivery, and you are done. Your post office probably has an automated self-serve kiosk where you can do this in under 5 minutes. Time is money, don't allow a company to spend your time like this.
Sure, you should be able to cancel on the phone with no hassle but that is a pipe dream. This is one instance where the old-school method still works best. I've done this with Verizon & Sprint when I lived in the States and was even able to cancel without penalty (they raised SMS a few cents each time) and not deal with their retentions people.
Now it is my preferred method for anything that takes over 10 minutes on the phone. Even if they are on the line, 10 minutes is a hard cutoff and I hang up, type a short letter, and mail it. It's low-tech but very effective.
"you may terminate this Agreement for any reason at any time by notifying Comcast in one of three ways: [...] (3) call our customer service line during normal business hours"
I'm going to be canceling Comcast around the end of the month. You're telling me I can just send a letter to my local service center and say, "Peace out!"?
I have canceled many internet service accounts (while working with customers) from both Comcast and AT&T. While infuriating, this is not representative of the vast majority of my experiences. Reason being, this is not how retention reps are trained. This guy was clearly on a personal mission. I would be surprised if he still works for Comcast.
Here's a really simple guide to getting past customer retention:
1) Be courteous. There is no better way to get mired down in customer retention hell than to give the rep a reason to run you around.
2) Feel free to share your reasons (briefly), but be clear (politely!) that your mind won't be changed. "I need to see for myself" is always a good way to dismiss the rep's reasoning.
3) In the off chance that you get a rep like the one featured here, simply hang up and call back in a few minutes. There's absolutely no reason to invest this much frustration in a company like Comcast.
I've only had one or two cases where I simply hung up on an overzealous rep. In all other cases, the process consisted of answering two or three questions, then I was on to cancellation.
There should be only one question from the rep: Is there anything we can do to change your mind? If the customer responds with anything indicating a willingness to discuss rates or packages, then by all means continue. If the customer says: No, I just want to cancel. Then turn it off.
That's right. Keep it very short and sweet, and include the information they need to process your request. "Dude, cancel me" probably isn't going to work so think it through and refer to the contract. Everything you need to cancel is in there.
If you have any equipment to return add that too, and tell them you will be returning it to the store (you might even mail it if it's just a card).
A properly written letter is really effective, and makes great evidence in court if things go wrong and the company fails to honor their side of the bargain. Been there, done that, and won.
Assuming you have Comcast equipment if a local service center is accessible it might be worth your time to walk in and drop the equipment off when you cancel. There can be a long tail on these if you have to send back equipment. The folks working the counter at these places also don't have a "retention specialist" they kick you to.
I have to say I canceled Comcast for a few months between houses my experience was pretty painless, I called in and they in-fact even sent pre-paid shipping boxes to return my modem and cable box.
Heck considering the profile this call is getting I'm guessing their "retention specialists" are going to be pretty light touch for a while.
It's not something I particularly like to trot out, but if I have to spend more than 5 minutes on the phone for something like this, it's what I tend to trot out, and I don't have to repeat myself (and interrupt them) more than two or three times for them to get the point.
"I won't be answering any of your questions, just cancel my service".
"Cancel my service or transfer me to someone who can"
The use of worlds like "Please" and "I'd like to" just tells them that you'll indulge their scripts and tactics. It's not rude to steamroll a system intentionally designed to make it hard to cancel.
I learned that panhandlers, at least in Chicago, interpret polite negative responses as opportunity and will continue to bother me. So, I have taken to saying flatly, "Not happening." It's not so rude or demeaning that I inadvertently pick a fight, but it's blunt enough to let them know that they're just wasting their time with me.
When I'm in a place where these folks will follow you around, I turn as robotic as possible and answer once (or maybe twice to make things perfectly clear) with a simple "no". I try to leave no room for interpreting playfulness or agressiveness.
I've had similar experience while dealing with Comcast installation techs.
The installation tech insisted that he needed to use my computer to complete the installation. My computer (running Debian, so using it was out of the question anyway) was sitting right in front of both of us. I told him that he didn't need to use it (which is true) and he insisted that he did. Then I told him that I did not have a computer. We could both see it, but only by insisting that I did not have a computer was I able to get him to complete the installation without using it (he made a short phonecall, and that was it).
Nice idea, so long as you're in the US where you don't really have an 'official' location...
I tried to do this once in Berlin to cancel a gym membership outside of the contractual limits. They required showing an official 'de-registration' from the city of Berlin. I was moving within the city at the time, so instead of telling the city I was moving, I instead told the city I was leaving and then a few weeks later reregistered with my new address.
Unfortunately I wasn't aware that this would reset the amount of uninterrupted time spent in Germany which is needed for getting a permanent residency. D'oh!
I was with Anytime Fitness until I moved, and I could only get out of my contract by sending them a copy of my new driver's license. I was willing to pay the ETF, but they demanded I show them my license in-person to get out, when I was hundreds of miles away. Finally I cancelled the card they were charging, let them sweat for a bit, then called and said "offer me some other way and you will get your money". They then let me email them.
But yeah, if I didn't have proof that I moved, I would have been stuck in the contract forever.
I had a record showing that I had tried to be reasonable, so if anyone reasonable was willing to talk to me, they could see that. But the reason I didn't just cancel the card and leave it at that is exactly that reason. After a month of them trying to bill me on a cancelled card, I called them and offered to pay the ETF PLUS the late fee if they would just let me email them proof that I had moved. It was still cheaper than flying back just to show them my drivers license.
It wasn't quite that bad... I could cancel for any reason, but only up to something like a month before the next billing cycle.
I of course realized this around 2 weeks before the next billing cycle, so I would have been forced to pay for the whole year if I didn't show that I was leaving the city.
So I certainly have some blame to my name for not having read the contract more carefully... it just all seemed a bit crazy at the time for a gym membership.
I assume you're incorrectly referring to the Stolen Valor Act (of 2013, as the earlier one was struck down for violating the First Amendment). That law specifically handles cases in which someone claims they are a recipient of an award related to combat AND does so with the intent to receive money, property or a tangible benefit.
Simply lying about military service to a Comcast Support Technician is not a crime.
It rather depend where you are. [Yes the assumption here is North America / USA, not sure on Comcast's reach?]
In the UK under Seamen’s and Soldiers’ False Characters Act 1906 Section 1, due to a technicality (excision of restricting terms) any [im]personation of HM Forces' seamen or soldiers is illegal.¹
It's been superseded by the Fraud Act 2006 which is more strict in needing a fraud to be committed viz "he false representation is made dishonestly and with the intention of making a gain".
That is the act that I was referring to, and I wasn't aware it was struck down. To the best of my recollection it was specifically targeted at people who lied about service for some personal gain. (However negligible that gain may be.)
Seems I was wrong, though it is kind of hilarious that got 4 downvotes. It was an honest mistake.
I just hang up and call again. You'll eventually get someone who doesn't care and will just disconnect you.
I once had a Comcast agent claim that he needed my father's death certificate to cancel my service! (No it was not under his name, it was always under my name.)
I once had a Comcast agent claim that he needed my father's death certificate to cancel my service!
Wtf, really? That is simply unconscionable. Are these even people on the end of the line? What kind of worthless piece of shit asks someone for their father's death certificate to cancel a cable service?
Still technically legal, bad faith business dealings? For better or worse (worse imo) this is just how businesses currently operate by default.
It's "just business" when you're perpetrating it, and the sky is falling when it happens to you. For a handful of reasons, the powerful (read: monied) are spared the brunt of the ugly end. Comcast is a regional monopoly that sells service to a lot of poor people. Welcome to the retention department.
Accidentally downvoted you, meant to upvote... sorry about that.
Anyhow: I was actually moving, told Comcast so, and I was indeed off the phone in a few minutes. "I wonder what everyone's concern about Comcast is anyway," I wondered. Then, a few days later, the "follow-up" calls began. It got to the point that I had to block the Comcast number just to get some peace.
It often works to ask to be put on their courtesy do not call list.
Systematically, they don't actually want to spend effort on people that don't want to talk to them and the 'courtesy do not call list' line says 'stop calling me' without inviting an argument.
It's probably more effective if you don't mind talking over their initial spiel.
I know I'll never follow up on that so I'm more focused on convincing the operator to give up on me with a minimum amount of grief and fuss (on both sides).
Yep top tip, always say it's because I'm moving country, only way not to get passed to the customer retention department and it's usually processed immediately with no hassle.
They don't transfer you to customer retention and you'll be off the phone in a few minutes.